Marital Problems

Dr. Purushothaman
March 8, 2013

Marriage is an institution where a male and female are bonded together for life. It is a kind of contract between a man and a woman to live together in love and harmony. Through marriage, people learn to share, care, love and understand the value of being together. It is thorough marriage that the male understands his responsibility to act as a pillar of the whole family and a female supports him in all possible ways and they work together for the welfare of the whole family.
Marriage is the only institution which survives on love and trust. It is due to the love between the spouses that children of the family understand the true value of a family life.
Problems in marriage rise when the spouses have differences in opinion on most of the issues and when no one is trying to take steps to decrease problems.

Common Marital Problems

Problems usually arise between married couple after some years of living together. They feel that they have lost the “Spice of Life”. They feel irritated at little things of life. most people think that they are with the wrong person and often end up in arguments when they feel that they are living with a person who no longer loves them or to whom they are no longer in love with.
Married life it then restricted to living for children and making them more satisfied than satisfying the partner. This is the period when most of the married people find themselves in great trouble.
Trouble arises when both the spouse lack the ability to manage conflicts. Arguments reach a level where both the partners forget about each other’s feelings and the feelings which once they had.
As time passes, life becomes so busy with kids, schools, work and other routine jobs that TIME spent with each other becomes less. The once happy couple who loved to talk for hours now does not have time to share even a moment with each other. This can definitely decrease the intimacy between the spouses.
Apart from moments together, two factors which lead to the many of the marital problems around the world is UNWILLINGNESS to accept and putting a lot of expectations on the partner. Unwillingness to accept literally means not to obey. It has to be understood that certain things cannot be blindly obeyed. And it is not right to over expect anything from your partner. Expectations lead to complaints, when these expectations are not fulfilled at the right time. If the partner shows unwillingness to obey the partner, then there can be problems which can go to a totally different level.
Criticism or attacking the partner through attacking the character as well as personality can cause problems in a married life.
Insulting the partner psychologically, by mocking, hostile kind of humor or through signs from the body like sneering or staring can hurt the other person very badly. This can lead to problems, thus breaking the bond of marriage.

Tips to avoid marital problems

  • Be at peace when you feel like disagreeing. When two people from two different families live together, there will definitely be a lot of problems and at times, there can be situations of disagreements. When one of the spouses is at peace, even though he/she might be disagreeing with the other, conflicts can be avoided. Keeping one’s mouth shut does not mean that he/she is inferior to other person. Superiority counts when you show the maturity to forgive your partner and to stay at peace even when situations are not so peaceful.

  • Talk about your opinions on a problem by not blaming your partner. You must give your opinion on any matter, but the point is avoiding criticisms. Insulting or mocking your partner can hurt their feelings and can lead to serious conflicts

  • Never analyze the personality or character of your spouse and never assume things. If you want to know about any matter, ask directly without hurting the person.

  • Before blaming your partner, try to understand the situation of your partner. If he/she has done something, there might be a reason. Try to know about the reasons before blaming.

  • Compliment your spouse for handling tough situations easily. This is a gesture which shows that you do care.

  • Apologize if you are wrong or if you have created a conflict or trouble.

  • Include your partner in making decisions.

  • Married life would be heaven if there is love and concern for each other. Life would be hell if you do not respect your partner and if you are not faithful to him/her.

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