Improving Self Confidence and Your Self Image

ANGER MANAGEMENT: Charlie Sheen. ANGER MANAGEMENT premieres June 28 on FX. CR: Frank Ockenfels / FX.

Dr. Purushothaman
October 11, 2013

Is improving self confidence [] a goal that is realistic, meaningful or worthwhile? First of all, we might ask, how important is self confidence? To some, it may appear obvious that it's extremely important. To others, it may seem like something that's beyond our control. To others still, the very idea may sound a little quaint or outdated. This is especially true if you're into "more advanced" ideas of spirituality, such as the Law of Attraction or manifestation.

The premise of this article, however, is that self confidence lies at the very foundation of our ability to achieve anything in life, whether it's physical, material or spiritual. How we feel about ourselves is fundamental to how we relate to the people and events in our lives. If we have little confidence in ourselves or our own abilities, we will have trouble even setting goals that are important to us, much less achieving them.

Is self confidence the same as self esteem? They are certainly related, and for the purposes of this discussion we can say they are the same. We could quibble on there being a slightly different focus, but suffice it to say that if we have one, we have the other as well. So, while I will use the term self confidence for the purpose of consistency and clarity, you could replace it with "self esteem" without changing them meaning.

Where does self confidence come from? This is perhaps the most important place to start. For if we assume that our self confidence comes from some achievement, status or rank given to us by someone else, then we are pretty much stuck at wherever we happen to be at any given moment. For example, if I have a job that I'm not happy with and would like to get another one, it won't do me any good if I lack self confidence because I have (what I consider to be) an inferior job right now.
This keeps me in an endless cycle that I can't escape.

The point is, our self confidence has to be rooted in something more internal than the circumstances of our life. People have different focal points when it comes to their sense of self. You may have certain spiritual or religious beliefs, and this is a perfectly good way to ground your sense of self. Even lacking a specific set of beliefs, however, you can still ground yourself with a firm idea of your own worth.
In fact, it's absolutely necessary to believe in your own worth if you are going to have self confidence that can then translate into positive action in the world.

So the real secret of self confidence is to have an unshakable belief that you are intrinsically worthy, no matter what you may be experiencing right now. If you have this, you will feel adequate to meet any challenges you may be facing. The key is to remember that your self confidence must come from within. Otherwise, a change in your external life can impact your self confidence, and this is not the way it should be.

Granted, this article is only an introduction to the subject, but hopefully it has helped to clarify the issue of self confidence a bit. If you feel that this is a topic worth pursuing in more depth, search for more information. There are some good books, courses and even at least one self confidence quiz that can help you further along on this journey. Most importantly, though, always remember that your worth cannot be measured by your social status, wealth, appearance or other external factors, it is your spiritual birthright.


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