How To Be Less Assertive

Group of business people working at office

Dr. Purushothaman
September 30, 2013

What are some of the traits that define people who are assertive?

Being assertive is both a skill that can be acquired with practice and a capacity that can be nurtured over time. Additionally, we ought to steer clear of presuming extreme attitudes in any way, shape, or form. The ability to be assertive actually varies between two extremes: the first is that of total passivity, which is the inability to assume a particular stance in the presence of other people and difficulty in relating to them; the second is that of excessive self-confidence, which can eventually turn into an aggressive attitude, in which one would tend to prevaricate and impose one's will upon other people and pay no attention at all to their needs; the first extreme is that of total passivity. Again, the greatest option is to take the middle ground because none of these two extremes can be considered to be appropriate.

People with an assertive personality type are aware of the fact that it is possible for anyone to err or alter their opinion. They are able to be sincere and honest with themselves as well as with other people, admitting any faults they may have committed and confessing any change in their ideas, without having feelings of overwhelming inadequacy or incompetence as a result of their conduct.

To be forceful, you have to give yourself the respect that you deserve. The ability to develop connections with other people that are healthy and mutually respectful to one another is contingent on how one view and feels about oneself, as well as regard for one's individuality and one's uniqueness. Our connections with one another are not only fraught with difficulty and ambiguity, but they also have the potential to provoke feelings of unease in us. This is primarily the result of misunderstandings that were brought about as a consequence of an inability to communicate with other people in an open and honest manner.

When assertive people communicate their ideas or let others know what their tastes, choices, and values are, they do not feel obligated to additionally provide a rationale for these choices or the preferences they have expressed to others. When one enters into a conversation with another person, one should have no fear of being measured against anyone else in relation to the numerous issues that are going to be discussed. This is an assertive stance to take. You should inquire further for an explanation whenever someone makes a demand that is excessive or unreasonable, as well as whenever they say something that is unclear. It is okay to acknowledge that you have not comprehended what another person has said or that you require further clarification if necessary.

People who are assertive are able to argue with others while still retaining a courteous tone in whatever they say, even if they are expressing a point of view with which they do not agree. People who are confident in themselves do not allow others to walk all over them or take advantage of them in any way. They will make sure that other people respect them and are not scared to upset a person who has questioned them first. They will do this by making sure that other people respect them. They do not have feelings of remorse, thus this does not slow them down. People who are confident in themselves are able to communicate their emotions to others without any sense of embarrassment or fear of being misunderstood or condemned. When assertive person says something that they think is essential and it is disregarded, they are able to restate their thoughts until they are given the attention that they feel they deserve. This is because an assertive person believes in the importance of what they say.

Being aggressive does not equate to having an egotistical personality. People who are egocentric do not take into account the requirements of other people and are solely concerned with meeting their own requirements and standards, whereas an assertive person is able to comprehend the requirements of others and takes them into consideration.

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