Finding Acceptance In A Codependent Relationship

Dr. Purushothaman
September 30, 2013

Not everybody is going to choose to live by the rules you live your life by. Everyone has choices. But when you see people living life to their choosing and who seem to not be in control, you want to be able to change their choices.

We, of course, don't have all the answers. But seeing someone who is out of control and seeing their life going wrong, at least in our eyes, is a hard thing to view. We have to come to the conclusion that the only one we can control is ourselves.

When we try to convince others that there is a better way to live and they do not conform to what we wish them to be, we are then filled with anger and sadness. Suddenly our life seems to be filled with the chaos that we found the other in. Maybe not the same kind of chaos, but something within us abruptly turns things into being out of balance. But we care for the other and we do not want them to experience the pain we see that is already there or that could be on its way.

You don't need to be filled with the kind of acceptance that agrees with how the other is living, rather the kind of acceptance that allows people to choose who they want to be. That way you can accept another's limitations, while choosing steps to allow yourself to continue choosing choices that are right for you and ones that keep you healthy.

Acceptance brings us power. It brings us the kind of power to realize we all have choices. When we see that and accept that, it brings us emotional freedom, which in time can bring you peace of mind.

When you recognize that you can take back your personal power and learn not to give it away that will enable you to see things more clearly and accept whatever just is. You don't have to react to anything with a negative energy.

You can choose to stay in a tranquil and serene place. You can stay in the 'now', while not acting on all the feelings that come about. You can direct your focus and attention to stay in the now.

Not accepting what causes you pain actually confines you into continuing your suffering. You may feel pain when you view another's troubles and difficulties in life, but you don't have to have that pain turn into prolongs suffering of your own. You can turn down the volume and that will eliminate the anxiety and suffering you feel.

It is a choice that you can choose what inhabits your mind and that will release what you dwell on in the here and now. That will allow you the break that can increase and make within reach being in control of where your thoughts settle. It will slowly teach you not to automatically react in a negative way.

Every person has their own process to attain acceptance. Another's choices should not affect you. It teaches you patience and to learn to let go of any rigid ideas and desired outcomes and expectations you might have. You will find serenity while along the way you will be pointing the path to others as well.

Along the way you might even realize there was something for you to learn. Maybe you're to learn to concentrate on you, helping yourself to have more peace. You cannot demand that another be responsible for filling your need for love and nurturing. Your source of happiness needs to come from within yourself.

Acceptance does not instantly happen. You have to learn how to accept yourself and your feelings. What you feel is not wrong neither is the way another feels. Everyone has strengths and everyone has weaknesses. You need to be grateful for the state of affairs you find yourself in. There is a lesson within each.

When you resist and/or deny your reality you use a large amount of your energy. When you repress, you do not make things better. By accepting what is, you can be more of the person you wish to be. You can adjust while still moving ahead. This kind of acceptance will change your negative energy over to positive energy. Trust that the change and growth are good.

You need to empower yourself and nurture yourself and that will enable you to go forth. When you accept your own history, you then gather your feelings both good and bad and from that you will gain strength.


Read Related Recent Articles