Experience Your Power - Learning Self Acceptance

Dr. Purushothaman
August 22, 2013

There is no perfection anywhere in life. What is there is the idea of perfection created by the mind. When you look at someone who has reached to that harmony, someone who has reached to that balance inside, someone who is in a state of love within, it looks like this person is a perfect person. We have no understanding about how he has reached to that balance, to that harmony, to that love within. But if you really look at all these people whom you take as perfect, they are the ones who accept all their imperfections. That’s why they have become perfect. They have never tried to change themselves. Like Buddha, Mahavira, Krishna, Christ, Mohamed or whoever you are taking as the perfect person, they are the people who have accepted themselves with all the imperfections as human beings. They have accepted their uniqueness. But you have a wrong understand about that and go on looking at them through your ideas of perfection. Then you compare yourself with them and find so many imperfect things in you. You think that Buddha is a very silent person, a very relaxed person and that you are not silent, you are not relaxed, and you are a disturbed person. You think that Buddha has no anger, no jealousy, and no mind and that you have anger, jealousy and mind. So, then you start believing that if you want to be like Buddha, like this perfect man, then you have to get rid of your anger, you have to get rid of your disturbances, you have to get rid of all this. So, there is a division that happens in you as a result of your comparisons because you have misunderstood perfection. Buddha has also anger and he has also all that you are rejecting inside, but he accepts that too. That’s why it has not becoming a disturbance for him. He is relaxed with the anger, he is relaxed with all that you call mind, all that you call thinking. He is relaxed with that because he has accepted it. And this is something that you do not see from outside. You cannot see what has happened inside there. From outside, Buddha and all these people are looking so relaxed. And you start comparing yourself and thinking that with all your disturbances you will not become a Buddha. You think that for this to happen you have to reject your anger, to dissolve your ego and to silence your mind. Then all this creates hatred inside and puts you into the journey to find out what can liberate you from all the negative side of yours. And this creates more disturbances, more confusion and even more misery. Then you go on asking how you can love yourself, when you are in a state of total hatred with yourself. You just keep longing how you can love yourself, like Buddha does, or like Osho does.


If you just keep close to your mirror a picture of a model or of somebody who is having that beautiful face that you wish to have, then every time you look at your face in the mirror you will find some faults in it. You will maybe start thinking that your nose is too big, that your eyes are too small, your ears are too long or that your skin is very dark, and you should not be like this. Then you just go mad, because even if you do plastic surgery to change it all, you will only become worst than before. And this is what people are doing. They are going through so many plastic surgeries, using all this new techniques and methods, which are making them worst and worst. This is the situation. There is no ideal face in this world. Every face is a unique face. Just look at your face and see how beautiful face you have. The ugliness was there just because of your hatred towards yourself. When you start loving your face, there is beauty in that ugliness too. This is the secret of it. When you come to that state of love you just look at the mirror, smile and see that there is nothing wrong in your face and that your face is the most beautiful face in the world. Just understand that there is no copy anywhere. Everything is unique and you have to accept your uniqueness the way it is expressed by life. Once you accept it you will see that you start loving it. And once you start loving yourself, a miracle happens that you start loving everybody. There is no hatred towards anyone. You will see some beauty in every person and your whole approach, your whole understanding, will change. Then there is no question about how to love yourself, your partner or your neighbor. You know how to love because you have understood that if you accept them the way they are, in the same way you have accept yourself, then there is love. And once you are in that state of love, there is no question of any relationship or anything at all. As you are in harmony within you are so much in balance and in harmony with everything. This is the whole secret. Just drop your ideal picture, drop all your goals. Nothing is perfect.


Understand what all these masters understood. They are all saying the same thing. Accept yourself the way you are. But you don’t understand. You understand something else. If you really understand this and start accepting yourself with all the negative parts included, then slowly, slowly you will be comfortable with that. And this will slowly bring a state of harmony and balance inside you. You will be again in tune with life. Then you will be not making any effort to change yourself. In this state there is no hatred, but only love is there. When there is no hatred inside, what remains is this love that starts flowing through you. You love yourself so much and this love includes everything. There is nothing that is rejected there; not even your anger or whatever negativity you think you have. This state of love comes when you understand the cause of your hate and the cause of all that you think is wrong with you. If you really understand, then you just start living with this acceptance, the acceptance of yourself the way you are, with all the imperfections, with all that is bad. Just accept and stay with this understanding inside, that now you are no more interested in to clean yourself, in to change yourself, but you are just there into that relaxation, into that harmony with yourself and with life outside. When you come to that state of understanding and relaxation, that state is the state of love. Then you will say that you love yourself, that there is nothing wrong with you. Life expresses itself in a unique way, which includes all the sides, the good and the bad. It includes all we call imperfections. The bad side is not totally bad and the good side is not totally good. Life is a combination of both. It means that it is somewhere a combination of imperfections. And this is going to be all the time like this. What you can bring through the understanding is the balance between all the imperfections within you and around you. That is the way and this is what I am sharing.

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