Emotional bank account is like a bank account in a financial way: you can make "deposits" - activities that trust - or you can make "withdrawals", which reduce it. It represents the quality of the relationship you have with other people. If you have a budget higher, so the communication is open and free. I want to share ideas, "deposits" you can make your family:
Cultivate love. Several years ago, I spent a night with two of my son. In the middle of the film, Sean, then four, he fell asleep. His older brother, Stephen, six, stayed awake and watched the rest of the movie together. When it was over, I took Sean in the car. It was cold, so I took off my coat and placed it gently. When we got home, I saw Sean, he lay down with Stephen to talk. Suddenly she asked: "Dad, if I was cold, he put his coat around me, too" Of all the events of our night together, the most important was a small act of kindness - a projection of his love brother.
In relationships, the little things are big things. Will go a long way to trust and unconditional love. Just think of the impact on your family to use kind words and thank you and please. O unexpected acts of service, such as taking children to buy something that is important to them. Or just find a way to express love, and leave a note in a lunch box or briefcase.
Make money, "forgiveness". Perhaps nothing tests our ability to begin to change to say "I'm sorry I embarrassed in front of your friends. It 'was wrong for me."
"My dear, I'm sorry to interrupt. I was so rude. Forgive me. "
Sometimes excuses incredibly difficult, but the effort said: ". Our relationship is very important to me "And this form of communication is based on the emotional bank account.
Learn fidelity. Next to apologize, one of the most important contribution a person can do is be loyal to family members when they are not present. In other words, the other as if they were there. This does not mean you are not aware of their weaknesses. Rather it means that you focus on the positive - and if you do not talk about weaknesses, you do so you would not be ashamed to have him hear the person.
A friend had a 18 year old son, whose habits annoyed his siblings. When the boy was not there, the family often spoke of him. At one point, this friend decided to follow the principle of loyalty to those who are not present. After these conversations, he developed slowly interrupted and said something that he had seen her son. Soon, the conversation would turn to more interesting topics.
Our friend said he felt that others soon began to connect with the principle of loyalty to the family. They realized that he also had to defend them if not present. And somehow inexplicable - perhaps because he began to see their child differently - this change has improved their emotional bank account.
Do - and keep - the promises. Over the years, people have asked if I had a simple idea that would help others cope with problems, seize opportunities and make their lives successful. I responded with four words: "and keep its promises."
My daughter, Cynthia, reminiscent of something that happened when she was 12 years old: Dad promised to take me with him on a business trip to San Francisco. We talked about this trip for months. After meeting, we scheduled a taxi to China Town and have our favorite food and watch the movie, I was dying of impatience.
"The day has finally arrived. The hours dragged by as I waited for Dad to finish the job. Around 6:30, he arrived with knowledge of influential businessmen who wanted to take us to dinner. My disappointment was larger than life.
"I will never forget the father said," I'd love to see you, but this is a special moment for my girlfriend. We planned a minute. "We did everything. This is just the happiest time of my life. I do not think any girl ever loved his father as much as I loved my night." I am convinced that it would be very difficult to find with a deposit, which has more impact on the family to get and keep the promise.
Do not forget to forgive. For many, the final disposal of the Bank is in the emotional forgiveness. When you forgive, you open the channels of trust and unconditional love. To cleanse the heart. You can also remove a major obstacle to change others - because when you forgive, you stand between people and their conscience. Instead of spending their energy on working with his own conscience, they will defend and justify their behavior to you.
When you begin to make deposits into the emotional bank account, you can see positive results immediately. More often, it will take weeks, months or even years. But the results will come, and you'll be amazed at the change.
