Assertiveness Training - Setting Boundaries

Dr. Purushothaman
October 1, 2013

One thing you’ll study in assertiveness training is how you can create solid boundaries in your relationships. Maintaining boundaries essentially means identifying the limits with regards to the behavior that you can and can't accept in your interactions. These constraints can be applied to issues with your colleagues and also ones that come about in your individual friendships.

What Happens When You Neglect To Maintain Proper Boundaries

If you have an issue with maintaining Healthy boundaries in your relationships, it makes it a piece of cake people to manipulate you. You will also find it difficult to decline people's requests and feel like you responsible to step in and assist another person if they are going through problems. Ultimately, you’re allowing some other person to determine your behavior and giving up a great deal of your own personal power at the same time.

Tips On How To Establish Solid Boundaries

Thankfully, anyone can learn how to Set Solid Boundaries in their interactions. Here are some step by step instructions that will enable you to create and express them better:

1. Write Down Your Boundaries

Naturally, the first thing that you’ve got to do is to establish your boundaries. Simply put, it's your job to establish the things you’re comfortable with and what you will not put up with. Based on my own experience, the best way to accomplish this is to actually take out your pen and paper and create a formal list. Once you have done this you’ll have clarity about your boundaries and be prepared to enforce them if anyone walks all over them.

2. Accept That You Have The Right

To prepare yourself before you communicate your boundaries to someone, it’s very important to allow yourself to tell them without having to feel self-doubt. More often than not, your harshest adversary can be your own personal anxiety about how other folks will react, rather than how they might genuinely respond. When you acknowledge your rights, you’re establishing the point that you ought to be viewed with dignity.

3. How To Go About Saying It

After you’ve defined your boundaries and have recognized your right to maintain them, you’re finally equipped to express them to other people. The trick is to be specific, to the point and frank when you’re imposing these restrictions. A good structure stick to is “When you do …, it makes me feel …, and I want you to …” This template works well because it emphasizes the action that violates the boundary, distinctly states how it affects you detrimentally and informs the other person about what you want.
About the Author

And lastly, if you want to learn about assertiveness training, go right over to Also, you can get a hold of excellent information on assertive communication skills simply by clicking the link.

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