Anger Management Tips for Calming Down

Young man clenching his teeth, pulling his hair, suffering from stress

Dr. Purushothaman
September 23, 2013

You know you’re only hurting yourself by being angry and yet you can’t stop the feeling from boiling inside you. What do you do? Try anger management. Yes, you can do anger management even if it feels like a bomb is about to explode from deep inside you.

First, whatever it is that’s causing you to feel the urge to smash the face of someone, no matter how intense that feeling is, freeze! Distract your mind from what’s bugging you by verbally counting numbers, from one to 10 to 100 or to a thousand or .... No, you won’t reach the millionth count because by the time you get tired of counting, your anger would have subsided.

If you feel silly counting numbers, do something physically strenuous like going for a brisk walk or jog. You can go to the swimming pool and cool down. You can go to the gym to exercise. Physical activity provides a channel for your strong emotions to run through.

If sweating it out isn’t exactly your cup of tea, you can still manage your anger by simply calming and soothing yourself. Lock yourself in your room, turn off or dim the lights, sit down and meditate. If you know yoga, this is the best time to practice it.

If you don’t know yoga, then just take slow, deep breaths. Visualize a comforting scene – a serene forest or lake or park with just you and nature all around. Repeat a calming phrase or word to yourself like “calm down” or “cool down.”

You can also listen to music – whatever you like but preferably gentle, meditative music to ease the burning sensation in your mind.

You can paint, write a blog, surf the Internet, or do any other thing to distract your mind from what’s causing you trouble.

Once you’ve calm down, deal with your anger that’s still embedded inside your system by expressing it in a controlled, deliberate manner either to the person who caused you to feel angry or to a family member, friend, counselor, or any person you trust.

Now that you’re in control of your emotions, you’ll have the facility to avoid saying hurtful things that would only aggravate the conflict and your anger, which you would later regret having done. If you’re not sure how you can best confront the source of your anger, try to write a script of what you plan to say to that person. Remember: Stick to issues and don’t get personal.

Try not to hold a grudge against any person. Try to forgive. Bear in mind that it’s unrealistic to expect someone to do and act as you please.

Try to be humorous or witty when talking to an offending person. The smiles and laughter you would cause could release the tensions. Don’t be sarcastic. Sarcasm may sound witty to you but it will not sound funny at all to the person listening to you. This could only inflame the situation.

If you have the time and the patience, write on your blog or diary the situation that caused you to feel angry. Monitor your response to every situation.

You see, it’s not that hard to manage your anger.



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