Why Is It So Hard For People To Say 'I'm Sorry'?

Dr. Purushothaman
May 7, 2023

Every one of us has been in situations in life where we have to apologise to someone. Apologies are a part of life. They occur at every level, at every age and every stage of our development. Learning how to apologise to someone the right way is one of the most important skills of life but it is the hardest to master. If we make a mistake it is alright to say “I’m sorry” and move on. But some people find it very hard to do.

Let us look into some of the reasons why some people think it is so hard to say they are sorry.

  • Non-apologists fear admission of wrongdoing. They feel that if they do something wrong and admit that, it will directly affect their character. They do not apologise because they feel threatened that it will affect their self-esteem and identity.
  • Apologising opens the door of guilt for many people and hence they find it hard to say sorry. The guilt makes them feel bad about their actions and they feel shameful. Such people often get into depression or mental problems when they say sorry to someone.
  • Some people do not say sorry because they feel that an apology would not resolve the matter but make things even worse. They feel that admitting to a mistake will open the gates for further accusations and allow the other person to pile on previous offences.
  • People often do not apologise because they believe that an apology will make the other person free from any culpability. So despite knowing the fault some people prefer not to say sorry.
  • People often do not apologise to maintain their emotions. They are comfortable with feelings like anger, distancing, irritation, etc. They feel that saying sorry will make them crumble and hence they never apologise.

The above mentioned are some of the reasons why people find it hard to say sorry. If at any point in life, you find it difficult to apologise or feel low after apologising, you may get in touch with Living In Wellbeing’s expert counsellors and involve yourself in motivational and inspirational talk with us

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