Why Is It Difficult To Forgive Others?

Dr. Purushothaman
July 23, 2023

Right from our childhood days, we are taught to forgive people. Forgiving people is not only the right thing to do but also a kind gesture that everyone must have. But often we find it hard to forgive others. Even after knowing that forgiving others is the right thing to do, yet it is the most difficult thing. In this article, we list down certain points that suggest why forgiving people is sometimes very difficult.

  • As per studies, it is found that humans find it difficult to live in the present. They always have memories of the past. The language used by other people against them always stays in their memories for a longer period. Therefore, humans find it hard to move on. So stronger attachment to the past makes forgiving others a difficult task.
  • When you get angry, the emotion of anger is so strong that forgiving someone is probably the last thing on your mind. We use anger as a wrong justification to not forgive others. Forgiveness comes from a place where there is understanding but when you are angry, you only see what you want to see.
  • Humans often have the habit of repeating their old behaviour. So sometimes we hesitate to forgive others because we fear the repetition of the same actions. Humans use this mechanism to not forgive other people to protect themselves from the hurt and disappointment of feeling let down again. Also, the bad experience of forgiving others play an important role in not forgiving others.
  • When someone lets you down, you often develop a grudge against them. We feel that they deserve punishment and we find it hard to forgive them. However, such punishment can be ineffective because the other person might have moved on in their life and you constantly live by holding the grudge for a lifetime.
  • When you feel that the other person never tried to understand or hear you, forgiving becomes difficult. The reason you have for not forgiving another person seems justifiable to you. In this process, you build walls with the other person and avoid his company.

The above mentioned are some of the reasons why it is sometimes hard to forgive others. However, forgiving other people can save you from a lot of mental stress. When you find it difficult to forgive others, you must think that no one in this world is perfect. There must have been occasions when you would have made the mistakes and other people have forgiven you. Keeping a big heart and kind soul is always the best attitude to have in life. Some of the benefits of forgiving others are as follows;

  • Improved mental health
  • Less stress, anxiety and hostility
  • No depression problem
  • Strong immunity system
  • Improved heart health
  • Healthier relationships
  • Lower blood pressure

The above mentioned are some of the benefits of forgiving others. If at any point in life, you feel low or depressed about not being able to forgive others, you may get in touch with Living In Wellbeing’s expert counsellors and involve yourself in motivational and inspirational talk with us.

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