Mirror on the Wall: The Secret and Most Effective Relationship Tool

Dr. Purushothaman
January 22, 2014


I'm sure you know the beloved fairytale "Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs." Remember the part of the fairytale when the witch looks in the mirror and says, "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?" And the response the witch hears back is: "Snow White."
This unexpected response from the mirror to the witch's question takes the witch by utter surprise and leaves her seething in anger. The mirror revealed the truth that everybody else knew, but that the witch was certainly not expecting. Mirrors reveal truths that we are not always willing to see when we look into them. And the mirror is - beyond a shadow of a doubt - the secret, most effective relationship tool you must have that holds the key for rekindling love and romance in your relationship.
I'm not talking about looks here, but the true you that is reflected in the looking glass. An honest look in the mirror is virtually guaranteed to rekindle love and romance in your relationship because all change starts with changing ourselves. Look in the mirror frequently and with honesty because we cannot change anyone but the person being reflected back at us in the mirror we hold in our hand.
Why is this true? We are often reluctant, and maybe even a little afraid to take a long hard look in the mirror to see what baggage we are bringing to the table that is negatively impacting our relationship. We find it very difficult to take a look in the mirror because, truth be told, it is so much easier to just point our finger and place all the problems in our relationship on our partner.
Take a moment and think about your own romantic relationship. I would bet you dollars to donuts you could provide me with a laundry list of complaints and character flaws about your partner in a New York minute. Right? However, we are often hard pressed to provide a list of our own personal character flaws and limitations. Yet, our character traits and issues might very well be the ones responsible for detouring our relationship off the course of true love and intimacy that we so desperately crave.
So often we are unforgiving, intolerant and most critical when we see in our partner our own imperfections. But we refuse to acknowledge these flaws and we avoid looking in the mirror at all costs so we don't have to face them! To keep love and romance alive in our relationship, it is imperative that we pull out our mirror and reflect upon what we are really seeing - not what we want to see but what is truly there. The chasm between these two thoughts can be as wide as the Grand Canyon.
Next time you are about to blame and/or criticize your partner - stop and take a long hard look in the mirror. Maybe you will see that you too are also contributing and responsible for the difficulties you are "facing" in your relationship. Whether you face it or not, the truth remains the same. So pick up your mirror and you will begin to change the only person in your relationship that you can truly change - yourself!
About the Author
During the past 25 years, renowned relationship expert Dr. Patty Ann Tublin has helped hundreds of people rekindle romance and reignite passion in their relationships. The solutions in her Relationship Toolbox™ help couples re-build romance so intimacy inside and outside the bedroom can flourish. Through her successful 25-year marriage and her experience of raising 4 children, Dr. Patty Ann has earned an international reputation for saving relationships. To reignite your flames of passion, visit her site at http://www.drpattyann.com.

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