Arguments in Relationships

Dr. Purushothaman
January 22, 2014


When you`ve got two people who love each other so much, and live in close quarters, it`s only a matter of time before they fight. We`ve got some great advice from other couples about the common things lovers argue about, this way you can put an end to the fighting.
Stress- We can at times take out our issues on the people we love. Stress can't be avoided in life. What's needed are practices like; breathing, prayer, walks, and other habits that cut stress. In the long run, we can't change whether or not stress comes along in life, but we can change how we deal with it.
Work- Sometimes as relationships go on, people put less energy in their relationships and focus more on work, which can make the lack of attention the real issue, not work in itself.
North Americans are widely known for having 2 main problems when it comes to family life. One is that they have a way of making themselves too busy. Filling up their schedules with additional activity that occupies time that could be spent with people they love. In other words, putting other matters before the people they love. Another is that they put work before the people they should be sharing their time with in life. The underlying problem is that people come secondary; this is usually the real concern.
Sex- Sex is frequently an argument that comes up in any relationship. There are a lot of misconceptions about sex due to Hollywood and pornography. What's needed is a correction of how sex actually occurs in real life in relationships. You need to sit down and have a talk with your partner and communicate your needs. Getting properly educated about sex wouldn't hurt either, as illusions about sex make up most of the problem, and people grow up believing them.
Annoyances- Different things aggravate people on a different level, and living with them won`t necessarily show you that. Where to the person it bothers it's a metaphorical 8, in the other persons mind its a 4. They may think that its a pet peeve, but they don't actually recognize how big an annoyance. A list should be made of what the biggest issues are in a relationship and what they rank on a scale of 1-10. By doing this, people can understand that they are dealing with a nine instead of a three, and issues living together can be accurately acknowledged.
Finances- Again in the top three things couples argue about is money. One of the most overlooked troubles when planning to move in together is the topic of money. People just assume that because they love each other, things will work out. What people don`t realize is that when people start living together, their ways of managing finances need to change as well. They need to develop a couple mindset of spending, otherwise their money problems, can spill into their relationship.
The family tree- Couples will usually fight over who they get to spend their time and holidays with. To help people see a hidden problem involved in this dilemma, people will usually only see their family once a year, the holidays.
What can be done is to; visit them more often, Skype, or call them more often. Most likely the subject is that they didn't get enough time together with them, which is also related to putting other priorities above the people we love.
Weekends- Whether it`s their free time; after work, after the odd jobs are done, or when the weekend comes around, couples will fight about how their partner spends their time.
People need to be sensitive of the matters they make their partner do and how it makes them feel, not just force them into it. The best solution is to do things that both parties enjoy, not trading between what one person likes and the other doesn't. Then if you can`t find something you both take pleasure in, discover something new to do together. This way people don`t resent being in a relationship.
You`ve most likely by now had a few of these fights. Sometimes the best answer is to be taught from others who have made the same mistakes in life. Read, listen, and get the advice of other couples. What will help your relationship is to build the right foundation by asking the right questions and learning the most about your partner.
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About the Author
Hobbies include; running, cooking, traveling, and most recently writing. Some of my articles can be found on I enjoy writing about relationship, dating, and fishing.

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