" Deep down, even the most hardened criminal is starving for the same thing that motivates the innocent baby: Love and Acceptance ".
Lily Fairchilde
When something happens, we can settle into a state of blame, guilt, anger – struggle in short! In the acceptance of ourselves, even though something has happened to upset us, or we have caused the problem ourselves, we discover that we are OK . In acceptance, our imperfections are as they are right now and we can see our way clear to creating what we want and how we want to feel.
"Why do I have to accept anything, especially something I don't like" some of you may ask.
"You don't!" would be my response, that would be called "resignation'. However, in order to accept and move on, certain events and emotions connected to them must be examined and any negative emotions collapsed. Acceptance needs to happen in order to move on and let it go – whatever it might be – acceptance that it is has happened and that it is having the effect it is having".
Many of us avoid considering this because a part of us fears it is our fault and, by looking at it, we will have to take all the blame and the guilt would be too much. On the contrary, by shining a little bit of light on how we are feeling, or reacting, rather then keeping it hidden away in the recesses of our mind, we can come to a different understanding. (Remember too, that guilt and blame are more negative emotions we would do well to let go of. Imagine you were able to forgive yourself for that mistake, mean word, cruel action, and move on – however huge that might be - how would that feel?).
Emotion always over rules logic – always! Acceptance is the starting point for releasing the emotion you don't want to feel. With true acceptance of the emotion you are feeling and the situation you are in, comes the opportunity to release the emotion, whatever the cause. With the release of the emotion, comes clarity. With clarity comes new perspectives – a different way of thinking about the situation, you may understand that it's not personal, you may be able to forgive yourself or others. Your logical mind is able to kick in again. The result is always the allowing in of emotions you do want to feel.
This in itself creates openings – friendships, new business opportunities, creativity, relaxation and peace, understanding and compassion. This all leads to a different way of responding instead of hitting the same old ‘react' button. Next time something reminds your subconscious mind of a difficult time and your body gets ready to brace itself, (tension in the stomach, tightness around the shoulders or back, tears, lump in the throat, palpitations, shortness of breath, sweaty palms – or whatever way your fear shows itself), your subconscious has another experience to refer to.
In EFT, we use acceptance in the very first stage, the Set-Up on the side of the hand;
Even though this is happening and I feel like this, I accept myself and all of my feelings.
Even though this is happening and I feel like this, I Love and accept myself anyway.
Even though I cannot accept where I am right now, I'm OK. I accept that I cannot accept.
Using EFT allows acceptance and clarity to happen rapidly, often in minutes, without even having to relive the circumstances that created the upset.
So, you can choose. You can hold onto old animosities, anger, jealousies, hurt and upset, or you can address them and allow your world to open up. I have helped people, (myself included) with overwhelming negative emotions from the death of a child, relationship breakdown, to phobias, addictions and physical illness. My clients don't even have to tell me what the circumstance or situation is if they don't want to. Having released it, they will tell me, often laughing at themselves for having believed whatever it was. Whatever the feelings were, the key for each individual was the acceptance of how they were feeling, in that moment, while focusing on the problem.
