There exists so much emphasis on emotional intelligence lately that it seems that individuals are suppressing their feelings and challenges in an energy to "fit in," to help keep their work, and using "positive self-talk" to muscle by way of the tough spots in their lives.
Not long ago, I had a friend above who has suffered huge work pressure for the duration of a time when his wife's father was dying of cancer. Needless to say, quitting his work failed to seem like a choice during this difficult period, especially given that his spouse returned to her parental home for many months to say good-bye to her dying father. That left him at home to consider care of their small children, pay the charges, etc. Who can forge positively into a new job-search with all that going on?
After his father-in-law handed away his spouse returned household and he misplaced his position - as did a lot of his colleagues - and his wife determined she no longer desired to stay married. What else could go incorrect? OH! Not surprisingly! His father can be diagnosed with cancer: He was.
Now he's living a full hell, with all of this turmoil, and two sweet kids looking to him for balance. Is it any wonder that folks are cracking under the strain?
He's all by yourself and he tries to get "emotionally together" but that only causes far more hurt than very good. We (society), in our have to have for order and stability, you should not want people with each one of these troubles within our lives. We don't want them functioning within our workplace. They're broken!
Properly, the fact is, our (society) expectations close to emotional intelligence, and together, full-functioning adults, is what's breaking them.
I invested 3 hours with him the other night, acknowledging his horrific situations, his emotional turmoil, and gave him permission to embrace all of it. He's not broken, he is experiencing emotional discomfort and it desires to become expressed, embraced, and worked by (processed.) It's not enough that he embrace it either. Community is essential to surround, appreciate, recover, and regenerate.
So, when we see hurting folks, will not glimpse at them as broken people who haven't received their act with each other. Glimpse at them as a person who requirements a little kindness, generosity, and loving support. Observe the strength those easy issues might have in their daily life.