Self Development Tips

Dr. Purushothaman
January 9, 2014


Is a problem still a problem, if you don’t know you have it?
Absolutely! Ignorance is not bliss! Ignorance can get you killed, maimed, broke, divorced, out of work, out of luck, and out of chances!
The smart thing is to get over being ignorant of any problems you don’t even know you might have, and get some self development tips.
How do I know I have a problem?
How’s life? Any areas you want to work better? There you go, found some straight away! Wasn’t hard at all. Now, how to go about making them better. This is where those self development tips come in!
Why not just hire someone to fix the problem? That would be good if it was a plumbing problem, where you can call in someone trained in fixing plumbing problems. However, if the issue is closer to home, such as within YOU, then who better to look to for answers than the person who lives there with the issues?
It’s not hard to work out what the problems are, but it can be tricky working out the answers, and often, we don’t know them. If we did, we’d probably try to or already have the problem solved with the answers. However, the real problem is that most people don’t know how to ask for what they want! And the super major problem with that is that they don’t realise they don’t know how to ask for what they want!
SELF DEVELOPMENT TIPS 1: How to ask for what you want!
This is a big issue, so we’ll devote a little time to it. The formula here applies to everything in life, so it’s worth taking notes. There are 5 steps in Self Development tips 1:
Step 1: Know what you want! Sounds simple, but how many times have you been asked, and been unable to immediately answer? Before you start asking for anything, be really clear on what it is you want, or want help with. Clarity leads to power, so get clarity first. That may mean writing it out, mind mapping it or talking it over with a friend who can play devil’s advocate, but get clear on exactly what you want!
Step 2: Know who to ask! Again, sounds simple, but why do so many people get it wrong? Sure, the taxi driver may have a sound opinion on it, and may even be right, but is he the guy to ask? Is your brother-in-law the guy to ask? Possibly not.
How do you know who to ask? Look at their results. Look at what their profession is. If it’s relevant to your question, see if they are getting results in it. Look around for people who already have the answers to the question you want answered. But before you ask, make sure you are asking someone who actually can help you!
That’s not to say that family and friends are not the right people to ask, nor should you shun the taxi driver. Get a range of opinions and rationally sift through them, educate yourself so that you are qualified to analyse the answers and make your decisions and choices.
Step 3: Be in exchange! You want a pizza? $10.00 please! You want the answer to a life changing question or problem? What is it worth to you? What will someone charge you to provide it? There needs to be an exchange of some sort.
If it was simply information, you might Google it for free. But experience? That comes from a mentor, someone who has been there. That will cost a little more. You need to be clear in advance what it is worth to you to get what you want, what you are asking for, and whether you can afford to pay for it!
A SMALL DISTINCTION: the exchange need not be money! If the retired business person over the road had the answers to your business problems, they may not want money in exchange. They may want you to talk to them, invite them into your business for their interests’ sake, give them something to think about and do. They may be missing the activity of their business life and want an interest again, something to do…. Some mentors want a percentage share of profits; some want an hourly consulting rate. Or they may just need the lawn mowing from time to time…! An exchange - something that feels fair to both of you.
Step 4: Ask as if it’s yours. Be confident, bold, assertive. Ask as though you already have it!
The timid people stay home and wonder, while the successful people get out and ask, do, and get what they need from life. That doesn’t mean you have to be aggressive. It does mean you must have the courage and confidence to take that step forward and actually ask someone to help you. In asking for help, the implication is also that you are humble enough to acknowledge that you need help and are also humble enough to accept it! This is not about being rude, arrogant and pushy in your quest for what you want. It’s about turning up, and allowing yourself the opportunity to be in the right place at the right time, to get what you need. Rarely will it be home delivered, you will have to get off the couch to get it!
Step 5: Ask until it is yours! Sometimes, you ask the question and get your answer immediately. It’s possible! Right place, right time. But that’s not all the time, and you might have to ask a lot of questions in a lot of different ways, to get your answers and get what you went looking for.
Some people won’t have your answer. Some people will, but won’t give it to you, or you won’t be able to afford it. Some people will feel threatened by you and others will be wary about you asking them trade secrets. But then, eventually you will come across the person with the answers you need. Eventually, you will find what you want. But you still need to keep knocking on doors until that time comes and it may not come easily.
This was the first of your self development tips. Apply it everywhere because it works on anything you need. Anything. Including the rest of the tips - it’s a bit like the padlock on the pantry door - once you get that one right, the rest is a lot easier!
SELF DEVELOPMENT TIPS 2: Daring to dream.
It might seem silly to include this, but so many people have heard “NO” so often, they longer allow themselves to dare to want anything, or dream of anything better. It’s called conditioning. We all need to dare to dream of what could be, so that we can go looking for it!
Is a better relationship with your partner possible? Possibly. But you need to dare dream of it being better first, and then talking about it with them to ignite their dreams too!
Is a more satisfying career possible? Possibly, but first, allow yourself to get clear on what would make it better and more satisfying. Could the same position be made better with a few changes and tweaks, or do you need to start again somewhere else?
Clarity leads to power. Allow yourself to dream. Get clear on your dreams. Then go looking for them, to make them happen.

Again, a simple but very profound point. When you take a holiday, how much time do you put into preparation for it? For a fortnight of holidaying, you probably put months of evenings planning into it. But how long since you did some life planning, which includes your work life, family life AND your holidays? So few people plan ahead for anything but events, when the whole of your life is a journey!
When you look at holiday planning, put it into Google, and it will come up with something like 370 MILLION results in 0.2 seconds. You can get phone apps for holiday planning. Holiday planning has been systemized so much that you can hardly get it wrong anymore! You just plug into the system and your holiday is done for you.
In just the same way, you can plug into personal and self development planning which encompasses relationships, career, finances, spiritual development, dreams and goals, everything you could possibly want in life, as well as holidays, and for a few minutes a day, have it organised as well! There is a blog worth checking on this point - see it HERE, and make Self Development Tips 3 the one which changed your life!
Think about it. You asked the question - self development tips 1, you dared to dream - self development tips 2 and made a plan - self development tips 3 - you happened to be in the right place at the right time, this time!
Self development tips - there just might be something in it!
Next time, let's look at feeling good about being you, who you are, and what you stand for. Let's look at self esteem and being proud of you!
If you enjoyed this article, if you believe it has merit, please share and reblog it, send it on to your friends, and anyone else you think may benefit. Who knows whose life you might change!
Til next time, fair winds and full sails!

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