Marriage Counseling - Dealing With Emotional Affair

Dr. Purushothaman
January 13, 2014


The breakup of a marriage can never be an instant happening. It is more often a gradual buildup of events. Breakups occur when couples don't take care of these minor problems immediately. Left unattended, they pile up into massive problems.
Our discuss in this article is emotional affair with a person of the opposite gender other than your spouse. This issue is some times disregarded by many just because it does not involve any external act of infidelity. Sadly, emotional affairs most often than not result in the physical act of intimacy.
Before we go on, let us pose this question. What do we mean by emotional affair? We define an affair as an emotional one when it does not involve physical intimacy but is more about emotional intimacy.
From the definition above, we would notice that this involves committing much emotional energy into a relationship outside of your marriage. The simple fact that individual involved in this finds nothing bad in it is in itself a major concern. Many of these class of people are usually in denial.
If you have ever found someone who faced this issue and overcame it maybe through marriage counseling or other means, they most times have this common thing to say. There was always a guilty feeling in their hearts. It a lot of times felt like they were cheating on their partners. It's as a result of this feeling of wrong doing that a lot of them react in anger if the spouse mentions the issue.
This kind of affair is a quiet marriage killer. To avoid complications, it should be stopped before it even starts.
When considering this issue, one is prompted to ask a question. What can push an individual into this kind of affair?
This type of affair can easily crop up when there is no real communication between the spouses. If one spouse gets more attention from a "friend" than he or she gets from his or her spouse, then it could result in an emotional affair.
One thing that each party in a marriage needs is emotional companionship. The temptation to look for such companionship outside increases when it is not gotten in the marriage. The reason why it's very easy to happen is that it always starts as an innocent platonic relationship.
How can a person handle this?
Being aware of the possibility of this occurring should fortify us against its happening. If we are committed to our marriage union, we should be ready to ensure it works. It's very essential that couples communicate very deeply. The absence of proper communication is the genesis of any problem that occurs in a marriage.
Where there is proper communication, it's virtually not possible for emotional needs not to be satisfied. It's necessary that we focus on the quality of the communication. Good communication is the basis for the resolution of any challenge.
I would give us an excellent step that would help married couples avoid emotional affairs. Don't stop bringing up issues about your spouse. Whenever that friend comes giving you attention, because you are willing to do all necessary to sustain your marriage, always talk to him or her about the wonderful character your spouse possesses.
This is a great tool for totally removing the growth of any level intimacy. One lesson that would serve you well in your marriage is knowing the importance of proper communication.

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