Life Coaching Never Compare Yourself To Others

Dr. Purushothaman
January 14, 2014


One of the things that I regularly encounter with Life Coach clients is their insistence on comparing themselves to people who they perceive as being more successful.
They may work in sales and decide that they want to earn more than a top-performing peer. Or think that to be truly happy they have to be as slim as a friend, or even worse, a media darling. Or they may be a Life Coach themselves and be envious of another Life Coaches thriving practice.
As a Life Coach who has worked with hundreds of clients, let me assure you this practice is almost always doomed to failure and frustration.
With close to seven billion people sharing the planet with you there are almost always going to be people that are better than you at some discipline or skill. Similarly, there are always going to be people that are worse than you in certain areas of your life, it's just how it is.
If I sat around all day fretting that there are better Life Coaches than me I'd never get anything done and I certainly wouldn't be the best Life Coach I can be for my clients.
By comparing yourself to others and that goes for either individuals or groups of people you are handing over your power and self esteem to outside forces over whom you have little or no influence.
What happens if that sales person closes a killer deal, or that friend drops another 7lbs or that competitor suddenly has a bumper year? I will tell you what happens. You will almost certainly become either frustrated, annoyed, dispirited or possibly all three.
There are a handful of people that can say unequivocally that they are the best at what they do, but that supremacy will be confined to one tiny area of expertise.
Usain Bolt may well be the fastest runner in the world but there are a great many people that can hit a better golf ball, think quicker, paint better, drive faster and whatever other criteria you care to mention and measure.
Do you really think that Usain sits at home worried because somebody earns more money than him or is stronger, or can do the New York Times crossword quicker?
I doubt it, because if he did it would certainly not allow him to focus on what he does best and would lead to a rapid decline in his performance.
There is only one person that you should ever compare yourself to on a regular basis and that is you.
If there are areas of your life that you wish to improve on then good for you, go ahead and hire a Life Coach and start to plan the life you really want to live.
Then measure where you are now and try and beat that. You have complete control over that. If you then continue to improve and move toward your goal then each step on the way will result in a feeling of achievement and not a glance over your shoulder to see what somebody else is doing and whether it is ok to feel good or not.
A tip for you, it's always ok to feel good about yourself.

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