Many of us long to be accepted for who we are. And so, we go about seeking validation and approval from others. However, the crux is that if we cannot accept ourselves, we cannot expect others to accept us too. Without any self-acceptance, we live in constant fear of being rejected.
Recently, I sat down to watch the movie, Wreck-it Ralph with my children. My children were having their school holidays and we had borrowed its DVD. Initially, I had found the plot rather slow moving. And so I was not paying full attention to it. But as the movie wore on, I discovered that there were valuable lessons on self-acceptance.
In the movie, Ralph had massive issues accepting that he needs to play the role of a villain in an arcade game. He wants to be the hero or the Good Guy, instead. His adventure eventually leads him to learn the important lesson that he is actually good enough.
Well, my children enjoyed the movie tremendously. They kept reciting the most quotable quote from the movie….
Wreck-It Ralph: I’m Bad, and that’s Good. I will never be Good and that’s not Bad. There’s no one I’d rather be, than me.
Reasons for Self-Rejection
The opposite of acceptance is rejection. If you do not accept yourself fully, you are implicitly rejecting some part about yourself. Any slight criticism from someone else can send your world crashing. You become very sensitive to what others say or think about you. With low self-acceptance, you are likely to experience massive insecurity, uncertainty and doubt.
Here are some common reasons for self-rejection:
- I am unable to accept my huge nose.
- I hate myself.
- I cannot accept that I have made a mistake.
- I cannot accept who I am.
- I am such a failure.
- I reject my looks.
Excessive self-rejection can contribute to outcomes such as self-mutilation, going for multiple plastic surgeries, bulimia, harboring suicidal thoughts and so on. It is only when you stop rejecting yourself that your ability to accept yourself increases.
From Rejection to Self-Acceptance
Self-acceptance can be a horribly uphill battle when we are bombarded by messages promoting standards that are not easily attainable from where we are. Over time, it is possible to become less sure about ourselves when we repeatedly hear that we need an expensive sports car or that we need a bigger bust line, in order to feel complete. Hence, we cannot discount societal or environmental influences.
Where we do not have enough self-acceptance or self-love, we can possibly believe in these messages. We become more susceptible to the subliminal messages contained in some of the advertisements. Rather than blame external factors, it is our responsibility not to allow our environment affect us nonetheless.
An innate self-rejection results in the fear of rejection by others. We become inclined to create a self-image that we perceive as agreeable with others. Consequently, we try to do all we can to please others. However, our actions are largely driven by fear. We may appear to be confident on the outside but on the inside, we are really feeling unlovable.
On the contrary, with enough self-acceptance, we are not fretting over something fundamental about ourselves that we would like to change. We already feel complete even though we perceive that we are not perfect. We are willing to embrace ourselves – warts, faults and all. Self-acceptance paves the way for greater self-love.
With self-acceptance, we are at peace on the inside.
Self-Acceptance Healing Meditation
You can shift from rejection to acceptance via a healing meditation.