Emotional Affairs: Are They Considered Cheating?

Dr. Purushothaman
January 13, 2014


In our modern world, the meaning of the word "cheating" is no longer confined with physical/sexual affairs but also involves the so-called "emotional affairs".

The increasing number of this kind of affair is very alarming; many couples are divorcing and starting to drift apart because of the affairs of their spouses. If you don't want to put your marriage at stake, then you must know and understand why it can be more dangerous compared to a physical affair.
What is an "emotional affair"?
An emotional affair is an investment of emotional energy to another individual who is not your "real/legal partner". People who engage in them get companionship and emotional support from someone else.
If your spouse is sharing his intimate or innermost feelings and thoughts with another person, an emotional affair has been probably developed.
Although most cheaters don't feel guilty about having this kind of relationship with someone else because they do not engage in any sensual activities, their real partners often view this emotional intimacy as destructive and hurtful as a sexual affair. Much of the grief and pain from an emotional affair is due to the dishonesty, cheating and intense feelings of being betrayed.
If you found out that your spouse feels closer to another person and is experiencing an increasing sexual desire; then, that is an explicit manifestation of an emotional affair.
How do emotional attachments start?
An emotional attachment of two individuals usually starts with "friendship"; these two individuals can build a strong emotional bond over time. For example, co-workers who used to eat lunch together once a week or drinking a cup of coffee in a fancy coffee shop, may find themselves doing these things every day. By doing things together, they may also end up talking more with each other about their personal problems and dreams.
Doing these kinds of things together once in a while is acceptable; it is the occurrence of the behaviors that makes it a problem. It only becomes destructive and damaging if one or both parties involved are married.

The question is, how would you feel if you find out that your spouse is spending a lot of his free time with somebody? Now, if you find yourself having an unwanted connection, you must decide who is more important to you: is it your spouse or your friend?
Emotional affairs can be more powerful than the usual sexual fling. The pain of knowing and discovering that your spouse has given out his heart and feelings to another person is really hard to accept and understand. So before its too late, do something to save your relationship.

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