If you want to control your own life you need to have some direction – a track to run on. Otherwise, the decisions you make will be on a random basis, based on how you feel at any given moment. If you know where you are going, and how you want your life to be, your decision-making will have a purpose and a benchmark. Controlling life will become easier as you will want to make decisions that support your goals and your desired lifestyle. Then the choices you make will move you closer to achieving the life you want.
Here are some goal setting steps to help you take control of life:
Step 1 – Decide Where You Are Going
The first and basic step in goal setting is to work out where you are going. You can do this best by writing down what you want out of life or you can simply decide how you want to live your life. Written goals work best for most people but you may not want to do that. In fact, I have known a number of successful people who have never written down their goals. They simply decide what they want and work towards it.
For example, a couple decide to marry and raise a family. They have had many discussions about how children should be raised – their standard of conduct, hygiene, manners and education – and they are in agreement. This means any choices or decision they have to make about the children will be based on the benchmark they have set. This will make their decisions constant and predictable and will help them control life. This is very important when they have to make some difficult decisions. They keep control by falling back to their guidelines, which makes the decision-making process clearer and easier.
Step 2 – Be determined
Be strong in your resolve to get the life you want. You have to decide that is what you want and you are willing to fight for it by making any necessary sacrifices and by dedicating yourself to working for it. This might mean changing some habits or a lifestyle or even some friendships. If what you are doing now does not fit in with what you want for yourself, you will have to change. There is pain in this. If you do not want the pain then you stay as you are, keep living the way you are and make the best of it.
Step 3 – Stay Positive
Think of the things you want for yourself – your goals and your dreams – in a positive way. Always think in terms of what you want and imagine yourself getting them. Develop the ability to look beyond the present frustrations and disappointments. See them as learning experiences and as stepping-stones towards your final destination.
I have been lucky enough to work with people who could turn the negatives into positives and see the good in some very bad situations. I was often impressed by the way they did not let the bad experiences change their belief or their attitude. From them, I learned not to dwell on the bad things that happen but to take what good I could from them and move on towards my goals.
Give yourself a purpose in life by setting some long-term objectives. You will find controlling life is a lot easier: your choices will become clearer and your decisions will be easier. Be clear in what you want, stay determined and positive, and you will build the life you want.