Happiness is defined in many ways and it’s different in every person. Many people chase it, trying to find it in money, perfect partners, and an exceptional career because their happiness depends on it. To be dependently happy means you are generally unhappy unless a thing or an event comes along which changes your moods like you were given a promotion, you land a job you’ve always wanted, you bought a new car, or have your dream holiday.
We all know that these wonderful things are worth celebrating, but do you depend on external circumstances or things to make you happy? Independent happiness on the other hand, means being happy about who you are without being self-conscious and you find pleasure in the small things like the simplicity of nature, talking to someone you know at the mall, talking to your family or your pet.
I realized that happiness changes its meaning as we grow because when I was 9 years old, it meant having my very own piano. When I was a teenager it meant, driving my father’s car, but now it’s as simple as waking up in the morning since I was diagnosed of sinus bradycardia which is a regular but unusually slow heartbeat wherein fainting can occur if my heart slows down even more or I may die in sleep. I always find ways to be happy even just by cooking, gardening or cleaning my car and I find peace knowing that my happiness does not depend on anybody or anything to make me feel good about myself.
Don’t be depressed when nothing good is going on in your lives and work on building independent happiness instead, and find peace in accepting things as they are. Your emotional foundation should be built around independent happiness so that you will build strong pillars to support you when things go wrong. Try to be more meditative and contemplative about life and sustain a happy feeling by allowing small things to illicit positive feelings because positive feelings will send you back towards the good things in life. So who cares if you were not given the promotion you want or the job you dream of? You have yourself to be grateful for and that should give you enough reason to be happy.
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By: Janet Grace Ortigas
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