Here’s the scenario, probably played out in millions of homes round the world….
Scott works long hours and Beth often feels lonely. She seems to spend her entire life meeting the needs of the kids and then Scott feels she doesn’t have time for him. This relationship looks like it’s doomed. Can it be saved? Should they even try to save it? Here’s a few tips on how to save a relationship.
Step 1. You must both decide that you want to save the relationship. Most relationships can be saved with hard work, but you must both want it to work. If one of you has decided enough is enough then there is little that you can do to repair it.
Lots of people will soldier on in a relationship simply because of the kids. Or because it’s routine and convenient for them. This isn’t enough in the long term. If you want to learn how to save a relationship, then you need agreement by both of you that it is indeed worth saving.
Step 2. You must identify the problem or problems in your relationship. A major problem in how to save a relationship is that you tend to think the symptoms of the problem are the actual problem.
Many people think an affair is a problem that will cause a break up. But often times an affair is a symptom of a deeper underlying problem. Lack of real intimacy can often lead to a partner cheating. Most people will see the act of cheating as the problem where the real culprit is the lack of intimacy. Even if you can stop the cheating, say through the use of guilt, you may end up with another problem (internet porn for instance) because you haven’t dealt with the actual problem of a lack of intimacy.
When you face and fix the actual problems, and not the symptoms. You can save a relationship from disaster.
Step 3. When you identify your problems, you can both share your views. This means both expressing your own views and listening to your partners concerns. If you can be close and maybe hold hands while discussing your problems you are giving your partner a signal that you want to connect, even if your emotions are running a bit wild. If your partner says something upsetting, don’t start a fight but remember they are saying this because they care and want to improve your overall relationship.
Step 4. Once you have both discussed the problems then it’s time to make a plan of action to help solve them. Then be sure to take firm steps on your plan of action. If you aren’t spending enough time together, plan one night a week when you can be together, and if possible without distraction. Try to be creative in ways to spend some time together. If communicating is one of the problems then agree to talk to each other for 10 or 15 minutes before you go to bed. And make sure you stick to it.
Step 5. Finally, realize that to save a relationship isn’t a one time thing. It is ongoing all the time. If the relationship isn’t growing it will start to fail. Realize you will have a few setbacks. It may seem like a few steps forward and one step back. There are going to be great times going forward but also the odd tear will be shed. If you can apologize quickly and hold your tongue when you want to blame you can’t fail to be a better person, and your relationship will grow.
Is your relationship worth saving? If so, the tips in this article will give you a kick start. The rest is up to you.
About the Author
When my relationship was on the brink of disaster, I decided not to give up, but to get it back on solid ground. I turned to a guy called T ‘Dub’ Jackson for help, Click Here to find out more and see a free video from T ‘Dub’ talking about the people he’s helped.