Purpose seems to stay elusive for many of us. The reasons stem from a lack of understanding of what keeps us from our purpose. Stress and survival based living is the first issue that needs addressing.
It does make sense that we need to feel safe and protected before we can afford the luxury of going after quality experiences that are based on love and adventure. The need for protection however is often subjected to a distorted perception. We misinterpret situations as being threatening to our safety when the majority of the time, nothing could be further from the truth.
A main source of our distress is ironically relationships, the very place we are meant to be enjoying love and adventure. This goes to show how much perception can predetermine what we experience. My clients very early on in our coaching sessions get to realize in detail that our environment cannot exist without being distorted by our personal filters that interpret it. This means our beliefs mold how we perceive everything.
So how do the very people who are meant to provide opportunities for love, caring and sharing end up causing confusion, hurt and anger? Personal conflicts are more to do with a lack of understanding rather than dealing with people who may mean you harm.
How often do you mean well but are misunderstood and end up reacting to someone distrusting and disrespecting you? This insight should help you realize without being aware, you are also prone to doing the same to others when you are feeling down and sensitive.
Sometimes you catch yourself doing it and may apologies, but enough times you are left assuming you were in the right and are not given the opportunity to learn it was a misinterpretation. They or we abruptly end the friendship prematurely out of desperation to feel safe. The cut and run response is a very common coping mechanism when we are feeling hurt and vulnerable.
If you are caught in high stress caused by this self-sabotaging pattern, then there is a good chance that living a higher purpose is going to be put on the back burner indefinitely. You are left to perceive your environment as hostile, filled with ill meaning people you cannot afford to trust.
This state of mind creates a downward spiral with relationships because we become oversensitive and defensive, alienating new relationships that resent our lack of trust. We also have contaminated the source that can feed our higher purpose because of our compromised filters. We know this because we feel compelled to protect ourselves from people rather than risk and be vulnerable through sharing more of ourselves.
So the first step to finding your purpose is to find the worth within you that can afford you to feel more secure and empowered, thereby expanding your means to trust and be more vulnerable with others. Your physical and emotional well being are prerequisites to having quality relationships and rewarding experiences. An extraordinary relationship with yourself makes it possible to have extraordinary relationships with others.
Feeling your worth and connecting with the fact you are bio engineered to be extraordinary is the beginning of establishing that healthy relationship with you. From 100 billion neurons in your brain, 100 million neurons in your gut and 40,000 neurons in your heart tells a story of intelligence and purpose within you that goes way beyond the intellect.
Bio engineered to think in infinite ways and feel what you believe means you can correct the distorted and dis empowering filters that prevent you from having a healthy balance between protection and growth. Identifying with your existing personality as if its who you really are can no longer hold as truth as you realize you can take on any personality trait that empowers you to live your values.
Your ability to serve your physical and emotional needs by evolving your personality and itsâ€™ filters is the same skill that then leaves you content and able to pay it forward to others. Fill your cup and it will effortlessly overflow into others is a metaphor used for thousands of years.
Finding your purpose begins with finding yourself. By doing so, you realize how great you are and you deserve love, truth and adventure without having to prove anything to anyone. This level of self-actualization increases your personal empowerment and resilience, meaning you are now fully equipped to not be tempted to take things personally and allow misinterpretations to unnecessarily deteriorate relationships. This is how you evolve your personality.
Personal and work relationships can be likened to glue that bonds us to enjoyable quality experiences. These quality experiences are made possible as we commit to giving and receiving between each other through our values. This uniting through love paves the path to our higher purpose as our signature essence is allowed to express. The more it expresses the greater the contribution through the gift of giving and receiving our uniqueness with each other.
In summary, finding your purpose begins with realizing you matter enough and are capable of undoing the conditioning that has been dis empowering your perception. A perception that justifies staying stressed and continuing to allocate your resources for protection. You cannot be in growth if your brain perceives an urgency to protect you. The brain is programmed to assure your survival before you it can allow any focus on the quality part of your life. As you can see, the personality filters make growth impractical and a luxury you can never afford; an illusion that must be dissolved.
Once achieved, the path to finding your purpose then continues on a road filled with value rich quality experiences that expand your perception, increase your wisdom and provide opportunities to make a real difference in your life. It stands to reason that to make a real difference in the world, learning to make the difference in your life is the first step.
About the Author
George Helou is a Mind Power Life Coach and Personal Development Perth based in East Perth, Western Australia. He developed EP7, an Empowered for Purpose in 7 Steps Coaching Program. George is also trains Perth Life Coaches to add the EP7 process to their life coaching service.