Are you usually hostile, or a bit neutral when you first meet other people? Or are you always willing to like the person you meet?
Not everybody is willing to be open when they meet others for the first time. Lots of us like to wait for a while before we decide whether or not we like somebody. Many people actually dislike most newcomers until they get to know them better. It takes these people a long time to warm up to somebody new.
There is a danger with disliking new people you meet.
If you dislike almost everyone you meet, how many friends do you think you will make with this attitude? Very few of us want to get closer to a person when we sense that he doesn’t like us.
You may tell yourself that you have high standards that other people will have to live up to. This may be true. But it’s more likely that you are simply suspicious and untrusting. Perhaps you have been hurt too many times, and this is your way of protecting yourself.
If you usually operate with a big long mental list of reasons to reject others, you will assume that other people are also deciding to reject you. If you routinely dislike other people because you are looking for their flaws, you won’t believe that others can really like you. When you reject other people for trivial reasons, you will also assume that others will reject you for trivial reasons.
This negative attitude will make you very suspicious when you encounter others, since you will be anticipating rejection from other people at any moment.
Wouldn’t it be easier and more effective to give everyone a break?
When you meet other people, give other people a break, and give yourself a break too.
When you meet people for the first time, start out with the assumption that most people you encounter are nice human beings and worthy of your friendship. You can choose to believe that just about everybody you meet actually likes you, and that you like most other people. People who are very socially confident and have a lot of friends tend to have this attitude.
If this hasn’t been your attitude so far, you can work to change it.
How can you change this?
Whenever you meet someone new, actively look for things to like in that person. Look for their interesting and unique qualities. Suspend your need to judge and analyze others, and simply meet them as ordinary human beings who are struggling and evolving, and making their way through life, just like you. Find things that you like about each person, and let yourself feel that you actually like them.
You will find that when your attitude changes, the world will become a friendlier place, because you have become a friendlier person.
By: Royane Real
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This article was written by Royane Real, author of the special report “Your Guide to Making Friendly Conversation” Learn more secrets of making friends. Download it today at www.lulu.com/real