Confidence is an important factor in our lives. We naturally want to surround ourselves with confident people. We want doctors who are confident in their medical knowledge. We want colleagues who are confident in their ability to complete projects. We want friends who are confident in themselves, and in their relationships. We even want to be confident in ourselves.
Many people struggle with self-confidence. They might find it difficult to make friends or join in group activities because of their low self-esteem. They often fear otherâ€™s opinions of them, struggle with new situations, and seem to be negative or pessimistic. People with low levels of confidence can have difficulty in passionate relationships. Because passionate relationships require individuals to be open to one another, confidence key to making these connections last.
Luckily, it is very possible to build confidence. Improving self-esteem is not always a simple task, but doing so will improve many aspects of your lifeâ€”including your romantic relationship! To do this, individuals need to work on how they perceive themselves, and how they feel other people perceive them.
The best place to begin when working on your confidence levels is with your speech patterns. Low confidence is reflected in what you say to the people around you. While your partner may try to compliment you when you make negative comments about your skills or your worth, this can be a frustrating pattern. Instead of encouraging your partner to validate you when you make negative comments, try to avoid these comments all together. Focus on making positive statements when possible. If you must express a negative thought aloud, frame it as a feeling; â€œIâ€™m so stupid,â€ might seem like a constant problem, while â€œI feel so dumb because of this situation,â€ tells the people around you that an experience has you shaken up. Your partner may feel more able to give you the temporary comfort that you need through an experience, rather than the constant validation that you need from consistent feelings.
Once you are able to speak with less negativity, you may see a revival of the passion in your romantic relationship. Giving constant validation can be draining for your partner. Now that you appear more positive and need less help to do so, your significant other is free to embrace their role of romantic partner. Being positive about yourself will help you both to feel positive about the relationship, and to rebuild the bonds that are necessary for a passionate connection.
Remaining positive and outwardly confident can be difficult, especially if you donâ€™t necessarily feel this way. Instead of hoping that you can â€œfake it â€˜til you make it,â€ consider a few ways that you can help increase your confidence. One simple way to boost your confidence and help add a little spark and passion back into your relationship is to take care of your appearance. The way that we treat our outward appearance can be viewed as a reflection on our self-worth. If you donâ€™t display some effort, even your partner may start to be concerned about the way that you feel about yourself. If you do not feel passionately about yourself, it can be difficult for your partner to see you as a passionate person. This is especially true for men who are very visual creatures. Outward changes help to increase how you feel about yourself, and how your partner feels about you.
Often, as our confidence dwindles, so does the amount of time and effort that we put into the way we look. Some people can feel a boost in their confidence by just spending a little more time on their hair in the mornings, or wearing something that is flattering instead of their usual daily attire. If simple changes to your behavior and appearance donâ€™t take things far enough, try a more drastic change. This can be anything from buying a new outfit to a new, dramatic haircut. You might be surprised at the feelings that a little change can inspire. And your partner will take notice too!
Another easy way to increase your feeling of self-worth and confidence is to start working out. Aerobic activity is a great way to give you a mental boost. This can help you relieve stress, and to refocus on more positive aspects of your life and self. Regular workouts also have the added health benefits, as well as changes to your appearance and your posture. You may not feel the effects immediately, but committing to a regular routine can help you feel more in control of your life, help you walk taller, and exude a confident air without even trying.
The key to passion is confidence. Not only do you need to be confident in your relationship, but you need to be confident in yourself. This will allow you to be open to your partner, and to embrace new ideas and situations as you and your partner grow together. Feeling better about yourself can truly encourage a spark in your partner and your relationship!
About the Author
Nancy Travers, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, specializes in all types of relationships; dating, existing relationships, family relationships, and relationships with friends and business relationships. She also helps her clients overcome anxiety and depression through talk therapy as well as through hypnosis. What sets her apart from many other counselors is that she has counseled in the gay/lesbian community for over 10 years. She also has experience counseling families with elder care issues. Nancy has been in practice for over 15 years and can provide you with the tools you need to approach dating and relationships with confidence.