There are many differing opinions regarding the topic of addiction. Indeed many observations show that there is a lack of understanding, compassion and tolerance towards the addict, those who are said to be un-naturally dependent, and it is often the case that their families are affected too.
It is a terrible situation that the person said to be dependent finds out too late that there is a dilemma in the first place, too late – but too late for whom? – The family, friends, work colleagues, or, most of all, the habituated themselves.
If you look at the dictionary definitions of the main topical terminology, you will see that there are a amount:
Addicted, situation, dependency, depend, devote. All these words are inducing the method of destroying a whole family unit, as commitment turns from those foremost to the addicted person, to the substance controlling them, and the habit makes them dependent upon it. But it is not just the addict who suffers.
If you look at all the situation; words, what, why, where, when, who and how, they will grow to be valuable factors in the course of reformation as there cannot be a starting procedure until there are answers, but at the same time trying to get the answers involves a particular amount of responsibility from the addicted and the immediate affected people.
First of all there has to be the admission. This can only come from the addict, and it is very often the end of the road for any family or work life before any improvement action can begin to put their lives back in sync again. Indeed, recovery is an on-going action, for the rest of their lives, whatever the fixation. It will never go away, so understanding this is one of the first steps to reformation.
So, when does it grow to be an addiction? Is it when it affects your own life or that of others? Does the absorbed see it as a guarded commodity, therefore can’t see the obsession at all? There is a very fine line linking accusation and the realisation that there is a predicament in the first place. One of the first steps to improvement is knowing that there is a setback and this is the crucial period where any good intentions could be destroyed if not handled with the correct process. It is a time to ‘suggest’ that there might be a glitch, to gently prime the addicted into the right frame of mind in order to endure any help being presented, and for them to be prepared to travel throuigh the steps and do something about it.
It is imperative to keep an open mind and know the options open in the recovery channels. In all of this, compassion rather than sympathy is crucial. The addicted will feel guilt and may be distress from a personality derangement either as a conclusion of the fixation or from an genetic aspect so it has to be the strength of those willing and able to help, that gets them through, although it has to be said that if the affected doesn’t want or is unwilling to acknowledge the help, then the whole method of recovery will be wasted. It is also important to bring up that it is by no means a cut and dry state of affairs. All concerned will have to be prepared for set backs, relapses and hard times to come, but there has to be willing participation from the absorbed person before the long course of action can be started.
So, in order to start the improvement method for a comrade or loved on, what are the questions that need to be asked?
Who is affected? What is the trouble? I.E. Substance abuse, alcohol, eating irregularity etc. Why did it start? Eg. Control, image, self engagement. Where is the first port of call for help? How do you deal with such a drawback?
Once the answers to all of the above are acknowledged, then the first gentle and tentative steps to recovery can start.